The Aliens Are Out To Steal Our Beer! "Supertruck"|The Aliens Are Out To Steal Our Beer!|Forum|Forum: Apocalypse & Armageddon

The Aliens Are Out To Steal Our Beer! "Supertruck!"

On the lighter side,

The movie "The Fourth Kind" upset the late (great) Ufologist Budd Hopkins who wrote an angry review of it on his web site. I actually sent him an email about the setting of Nome, Alaska as my sister had lived there for awhile.

I can't say what is coincidence and what is synchronicity in the ET's Abduction agenda. However I lean towards the synchronicity explanation of "why me?"

It just so happens that my brother-in-law (who is originally from Seward, Alaska), Lieutenant Colonel (retired) Neil Hollenbeck was the one time Commanding Officer of the Army National Guard unit in Nome, Alaska. And while they lived in Nome, my sister Connie was a trained EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) and Alcohol and Substance Abuse Counselor.

When I mentioned the movie "The Fourth Kind" to Connie, the first thing she asked was did the movie show the majority of the residents of Nome as being indigenous people. No!

She told me there was a real problem with suicide and alcohol (introduced by we of European descent) amongst the indigenous people. But the whole time she had lived in Nome she could not remember the subject of UFOs or ETs ever coming up.

Thought you would find this interesting.

I'll give "The Fourth Kind" a couple of points for efforts in this "documentary" style genre. It wasn't awful, for the market it was meant to be for. I actually liked it better than "Signs." Just watched "Super 8," which is sort of like The Goonies--meets--Transformers (at the end).

I am curious how most UFO/ET genre is being presented to the public. The government does not have to really feed misinformation to the public about ETs/UFOs as Hollywood does a real good job of contriving the subject matter and keeping it tough to take seriously. "Cowboys and Aliens" on the other hand, is not something I would normally even bother watching, except I like the cast, so one of these days I'll take a look at it strictly as Entertainment.

With my own Close Encounter experiences, Military, technical, and writing background I try to balance what I like in the ET/UFO genre as good "science-fiction" or "semi-documentary" as to what is just good box office entertainment fiction.

For example, as entertainment I loved "Mars Attacks" but hated "Independence Day." Making a movie like "Independence Day" makes great business sense, and never forget it is a business first. But "Independece Day" was just such packaged bullshit.

My Nephew, Neil Hollenbeck Jr., was just over to visit in town for the holidays. Neil Jr. is an Army Major himself now, was in my old Army paratroop unit and served in Iraq 3 times, and has now been appointed to teach at West Point.

I just printed out for him a short I wrote in a letter to Peter Fonda way back in 1996 right after I took him, as a kid, and his sister and brother to see the movie "Independence Day." This was back when Peter and I were trying to get my screenplay "Hard John's Nuclear Hit Parade" produced. I hadn't heard about "Mars Attacks" yet as I scribbled out this little pseudo-treatment making fun of "Independence Day."

Enjoy!

THE SUPERTRUCK

...I think I would have taken the final draft screenplay for "Independence Day" and polished it and made a feature film working title: SUPERTRUCK. Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas are two red neck urban cowboys who go out line dancing every night in their pick-up truck. While drunk on beer one night they have a Close Encounter with the Alienesque {meaning what we call "greys" now} aliens that causes them to go stone sober. The aliens are planning to attack the Earth and take from us the world's entire supply of beer, which for the aliens is a nectar that they raise their young upon.

Rick & Dave get word to the President, Michael Douglas, through their old beer drinking line dancing pal, the Governor of Texass, Danny Devito. The President makes TV {ha, ha disclosure} speeches to calm the good beer drinking citizens' fears, but never until his Secretary of State, Kathleen Turner, has conducted a market research political poll to first see which way the Prez should lean since this is, after all, a re-election year.

Rick & Dave, who were fighter pilots in Vietnam, are flown by Governor Devito to Washington D.C. where they are introduced to a group of mad CIA/NSA scientists who have been working on a secret weapon, a Club-cab Monstertruck Pick-up Truck, with heat shield panels from the Space Shuttle. The SUPERTRUCK folds up like a Japanese cartoon "Transformer" vehicle. The DARPA mad scientist group is headed up by Jamie Lee Curtis, with Back To The Future's Christopher Lloyd, Seinfeld's Michael Richards; and Bill Nye The Science Guy & Beakman, Paul Zaloom (for credibility, not).

Rick & Dave and Jamie are sent into outer space in the Supertruck, which flies just like the Supercar from the old TV marionette series, into the heart of the totally too giant to be believable aliens' Mothercraft. The Supertruck is pulling a train of railroad box cars full of beer kegs as a peace offering.

Not good enough! The aliens are still going with their countdown to destroy mankind and steal all our beer. As a gesture of the seriousness of their intentions they show that they have captured the entire Swedish Swimsuit Team and are forcing them to line dance for their alien entertainment.

Rick & Dave feel hopeless, but scientist lady Jamie figures out with her lap top computer that when one of the aliens performs a Clogging dance he is actually giving the other aliens directions the way a bee will dance in a hive thus giving the other bees directions to the pollen fields. But how can our trio use this inadvertent intelligence?

On the sullen flight back to Earth, Rick mentions that an old Vietnam war buddy is now a member of the Rainbow Family and raises bees in Northern California and maybe his friend, "Cheech" Marin, could help them. The Prez and entire cast entourage fly Air Force One to San Francisco and grab a motorcycle escort {if I were writing this today I'd add Hell's Angels side-by-side with CHPs} to the Rainbow Commune. Cheech's business partner in selling drug paraphernalia, Tommy Chong, says, "Why don't we just spike the beer with LSD and give them a computer generated confused bee direction dance?"

Secretary of State Kathleen quickly uses her cell phone to get her market research group to take a poll to find out if this would be acceptable to the American Public, whom respond overwhelmingly, "Anything to save our way of life and our beer!" But where can we find that much LSD and someone who can figure out the correct/wrong bee dance?

Chong remembers an Army computer whiz who dosed him with LSD while he had been one of the Army's "Volunteers" in their Project 112 drug experiments at the Army's Chemical, Biological and Radiological Warfare Center of the Army's Medical Research Institute of Chemical Defense at Edgewood Arsenal in Maryland back in the '60s. In fact, this is still where Chong is getting his supplies yet today that are guaranteed pure and clean for all the concerts they travel around the country to see with all those Greatful Dead "Dead Heads." Seems the Government, through Edgewood Arsenal, has still been doing their long-term sociological pattern drug involved research by doing studies on the Rainbow Family for all these years, so we can beat "The Enemy," whomever they may currently be, to this tactical data.

Edgewood Arsenal computer whiz, Jeff Goldblum, assures them that, yes, he has enough LSD on hand in government supplies to lace every major water reservoir in communist and unfriendly middle-eastern countries and, yes, that should be enough to do the trick on the aliens.

But time is running out! The aliens have already been launching small missions capturing our microbreweries in order to refine their war tactics against all of Earth's major breweries.

Jeff breaks the code of the aliens' bee direction dance and the four, Rick & Dave and Jamie & Jeff, run a second secret mission in the Supertruck, disguised as another peace offering, with a trainload of LSD dosed beer back up to the alien mothercraft.

The aliens are having none of this and lock our combo up. Rick has to teach the Swedish Swimsuit Team all the subliminal message line dance steps that Jeff has figured out that will allow them to fool the aliens into letting Rick do a solo Clogging number, that is Jeff's real correct/wrong bee direction dance that sends the aliens into a frenzy thinking that the planet Jupiter, many many times the size of the Earth, has an atmosphere made up entirely of beer.

In the confusion of activity among the aliens getting ready to take off for Jupiter, while Jeff & Jamie use their computer and scientific-knowledge to booby-trap the aliens' computers and navigational systems, Rick & Dave rescue the Swedish Swimsuit Team. At the last second they all hop aboard the Supertruck and make their escape back to Earth.

The aliens then all fly into the atmosphere of Jupiter, severely dosed on LSD (boy would that make warp drive look more colorful), and burn up like so many meteors. The World has been Saved by two line dancing urban cowboys in a Super Pick-up Truck, and civilization as we know it can now live together in peace and harmony with plenty of beer for everyone to celebrate Octoberfests forever.
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